So I finally brought myself to watch that ridiculous video of me conducting this client interview and here are my thoughts in no particular order:
- I have never been one to proclaim that an examiner, assessor, invigilator or plain teacher has it in for me because honestly, I think it's bollocks. But fuck, she had it in for me. The condescending tone with which she spoke to me and the envious look on her face upon glancing my shoes all go to prove that.
- Her grading and subsequent comments were unnecessarily harsh. She told me I'd not done a few things which I'd clearly done (honey, the recording doesn't lie).
- I never realised I was quite so feminine. Which sounds utterly ridiculous. But I always thought I was a bit rough around the edges. I certainly don't eat my hamburgers with a knife and fork as do an alarming number of Bahraini girls and I'm actually unafraid to wear a man-style shirt, pull my hair back or do without jewellery (apart from my Teta's ring). Seeing myself in motion, all delicate and frail. Very odd.
- I need to stop saying "Fantastic". What a ludicrous, arbitrary, useless word to say. Where the hell did I pick it up from? Who do I think I am anyway? Joe England?
- Did I mention my shoes? Word.
- If I don't smile, I am haughty, aloof, serious and completely humourless. I wouldn't want to be my friend if I don't smile.
- Black really is my colour.
- Jesus my hair is so dark. So are my eyes.
- Only I know when I'm nervous. The rest of the world wouldn't be able to tell. Only I can see the imperceptible shake of the hand as I'm making notes.
- The "client" was an organic foods store owner who was in a huff about one of his partners buying salad leaves from a supplier at less than stellar prices without his consent. How ridiculous does one feel when one asks, "So you didn't know about the salad leaves?" at a client interview?
- The English urge to be condescending outweighs every other instinct they have. "Oh you did really well!" said the peer who was interviewing me. "Well done!" Har-umph.
Post script: I'm reading A Fraction of the Whole by Steve Toltz. Started yesterday and jeez louise I'm loving it and can't put it down. It's fast paced, it's intriguing and it's written with vast amounts of humour. Worth a shot.
4 comments:
So this assessment is for a job? Or a uni career centre helping you out?
My job interview started with "do you want a beer?"..
No the job interview is done and dusted. I caned it in August.
This is for the course I'm doing, the LPC. Basically solicitors in training so we're sort of being assessed on how we interview clients. This was a practice for the real assessment.
I hope you had the beer. It wasn't Fosters was it?
I didn't actually. I thought it was a trick question. Turned out it wasn't - he managed to get through two of them throughout the course of the interview.
And Fosters is an import only. Leftovers from all the others!
If I remember correctly - I think he had a Carlton Draught.
I always take the piss out of Adonis with Fosters because when I mention that it's "Australian for beer" he goes nuts and raves about how it's not aussie. Ah well it's a crap beer anyway, or so I'm told.
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