Crikey Moses

I'm in pain. The kind of pain that should have subsided a while ago but is still there. Not that metaphysical heart ripped out kind of crap. I'm talking about the real shit, blood and guts and everything. Well no guts, considering it's my foot. But fuck me sideways, it's a nasty cut that happened in my haste to come out of the bathroom (childhood urge to run out before the toilet was fully flushed so as not to invoke anyone to come out at me and saaaay mutilate me?). I blame Hostel. I was watching it with Adonis who in his zeal refused to change the channel when achilles tendons were sliced and eyes were being blowtorched - "No look baby! Look! Oh bubba's scared. I'm gonna download Hostel 2". Yeah thanks. Naturally, me being me, I immediately started freaking out and being afraid and my mind association game kicked in as it does. Torture relates to Saw relates to that freaky doll relates to a myriad of fictional fuckers that are out to get me and slice me to bits.

A boy I once knew and have the vaguest recollection of once told me he loved me to bits. I do believe he had a dark side. I'm pretty sure he was quite the intense madman. Fuck, I can't go around making random allegations like that but meh, I do anyway. He was very stern and soulless in his judgements and had it coming anyway.

I be cooking tomorrow. I be Stepford Wife-ing it tomorrow for my sweet self. Yes Adonis in up (down?) in the land of Switzer being all corporate.

Obligatory Kath & Kim excerpt. If you don't know it, watch it. Aussie comedy:

"It's not easy being a corporate wife. You don't know what it's like being married to a successful man."
"Hello? What do you call this guy eating his yoghurt and muesli?"

Crikey moses, my fucking foot throbs. What have I fucking done to myself? Give me the fucking pills. Or give me Adonis as he lies here stroking my hair and kissing my head and calling me "bubba." Give me Adonis over everything else, anytime.