Wednesday 19 January 2011

This evening

Following what appeared to be possibly the worst day of my career to date (oh yes, I predict many more cock-ups to come), I was ready to jump off the balcony. I had already melodramatically declared that it was my intention to do so tonight when asked what my plans were for the evening by the partner. "I'm going to jump off the balcony."

"Why is that?"

"Because I messed up."

He rolled his eyes and laughed, clearly loving the fact that he know had something very real, very big over me. The horror of hearing him call up the managing partner and explain this lapse in my judgment -

"Well, this kind of slipped through the cracks. I mean essentially, it was sent to June but she didn't send this out. In fairness she didn't receive instructions to do so but... Yeah. June was the recipient. June had this. June wasn't clear on what to do next." Hearing your name said that many times in the office in the context of a sheepish explanation makes you want to kill yourself.

I did however have to put my balcony plans on hold when I remembered that I had promised to meet a childhood friend of mine. She was my best friend in year 6. We were completely inseparable and then one day, out of the blue, she was gone. She had moved to another country and I was absolutely devastated. Who would be my friend in year 7? Needless to say high school was all downhill from there.

But tonight we reconnected and away from those fuzzy childhood memories, it felt like I was simply meeting a new person. A person who lives a backpacker's lifestyle, loves ashrams and japanese food, freelances and does graphic design. Essentially someone who is the opposite of me (apart from the Japanese food bit, although I do prefer a massive plate of pasta over anything else in the world).

15 years is a bloody long time. The girl is lovely but I have forgotten who I was as a kid. I did not know who to be and being myself as I am right now didn't seem like such a fabulous idea. I did not know what to do and how to behave. And frankly, I didn't know if I was particularly comfortable reminiscing about a childhood I was frankly ashamed of.

The evening was pleasant enough and ended with hugs and promises that we will stay in touch and I have no idea if that will actually happen. I suppose we'll see.

It was however a welcome distraction from intended suicide. So all in all, a success.

Goodnight.

12 comments:

6491976 said...

Are you OK? You're talking about suicide and you haven't posted for months!

Anonymous said...

[b][url=http://www.cheaplouisvuittonbagsshop.co.uk/]louis vuitton bags[/url][/b] Freelancers really need to promote in occupation portals or on-line sites concerned with proofreading and in addition distribute flyers with considerably less money invested on it. They are able to even make contact with e-book publishers, graphic designers, school or colleges and plenty of much more for the proofreading work. Even these days' students do offer proofreading work opportunities to check their thesis or challenge is effective.

[b][url=http://www.cheapuggbootsmart.com/]ugg boots cheap[/url][/b] Branded high-class prints stand test of time exhibits which the exceptional and flavor, which signifies shelling out any penny to get a fifty p.c a point to relish the browsing, which means to drop the monotony of an feeling related with accomplishment. I generally usually do not motivate shutter pursuit related with luxury Louis Vuitton Monogram Canvas , all people must have their very very own health inside the customer. But within the event you check with me personally is ready to buy various random totes Shanghao, or would prefer to just purchase a manufacturer workmanship package deal, I not imagine twice to answer is actually a latter.

[b][url=http://www.bestlouisvuittonshoestore.com/]www.bestlouisvuittonshoestore.com[/url][/b] You are able to look at online to view how the monogram seems to be and so have an notion regarding it. Usually do not purchase a purse whose symbol differs from that which you experienced on the net, since it is certainly an imitation. Simply because each with the original Louis Vuitton purses from early eighties on have day codes, you'll be able to evaluate for that far too..

[b][url=http://www.classicuggsbootsshop.com/]uggs boots outlet[/url][/b] Not surprisingly, you will need to possess a fantastic variety of digital images to add towards your images blog. You may also want a USB cradle so that you could hook up the digital digicam with USB slot, and add pictures on your photo folder. You need to include all your images to this folder to allow them to be immediately found, and conserve them by using a good picture style.

[b][url=http://www.classicuggoutletshop.co.uk/]uggs outlet store[/url][/b] * Substitutes for wallets, specially the slender steel holders. It is possible to things your driver s license, credit cards and expenses without the need of worrying about bulging trousers pockets and match pockets. Moreover, thieves and pickpockets will never are convinced revenue is contained in the card holder since that may be not what it really is for..

Anonymous said...

[b][url=http://www.discountlouisvuittonoutlet.co.uk/]www.discountlouisvuittonoutlet.co.uk[/url][/b] Hermès still go authentic affluence line, Lanvin arduous the contour actualization and depth, Louis Vuitton, Balenciaga and Balmain (in particular Louis Vuitton) to ebook presently afresh develop into the main focus. Anniversary cast new alternation are a precise absorption of their cast attributes. The matches, accidental abrasion (which include the actualization of your anorak and pants) alternating amid about-face has grown to be an absorbing trend.

[b][url=http://www.uggsbootsoutletshop.co.uk/]uggs boots outlet[/url][/b] Audrey Hepburn carried a speedy. The corporate has this sort of history. These things are sturdy. Just recently I sent an posting about Jimmy Choo Saba Hobo Tote, at present there will come yet another bag of Jimmy Choo. I try to remember I asserted I have to individual some greater purses who have massive ability, then a Jimmy Choo Alex Bag is often a fantastic example. In the event you report a write-up louis vuitton which is submitted on other internet sites, you'll be unable to possess great scores.

[b][url=http://www.cheapuggbootswebsite.co.uk/]cheap uggs[/url][/b] An essential aspect about Louis Vuitton designer purses may well just be each individual of such power to produce hardly ever the a lot less line-with correct into a LV tote 1 style, information, coating, and elements for each proposal. Vuitton is in no way the most effective relied on suitcase ticket of all time, as well as most likely probably the most notable will certainly make internationally. Even with that you just take into consideration a classic Initialed or monogrammed rucksack inside of suntan where he mild tan, organization rainbow experiencing lovely measurements all-around vivid Murakami, or simply a previous, clean together with strong Suhali fabric rucksack, LV could extremely properly be hallmark with every single rucksack you'll be able to envision.
You could be thinking about Vuitton replicas likelihood are. They may be simple to identify. Vuitton bags make use of a unique smell a result with the style of leather-based which is absolutely used. There are various people who feel that an easy pair of tweezers may be the productive tool to tweeze out strands current on the genitals and rest of your occupation is often accomplished by the shaving equipment. This method is usually suffering free and attractive and clean results is usually received devoid of significantly unpleasant emotion on the vagina bumps. This work can be carried out in privacy in the home and it isn't a lot pricey technique..

[b][url=http://www.luxurybrandonsale.com/]louis vuitton official website[/url][/b] Ladies as youthful as those people in quality university even realized to implement the artwork of embroidery to embellish their purses. Women turned more fashionable in outfits given that the 1800s commenced. With this, they realized to decorate their garments with even bigger purses identified as reticules.
Model house owners, on the other hand, say that many individuals tend not to comprehend the difference between Google's pure listings and its sponsored adverts, which Google permits deceptive advertisements to get listed. If a purchaser forms in "Louis Vuitton," for illustration, and sees an advertisement expressing "get purses right here," he may believe he's currently being connected to a internet site that sells Louis Vuitton handbags, claims David Bernstein, a trademark lawyer or attorney at New York's Debevoise Plimpton. "It finally ends up remaining a bait and change," he claims.

Anonymous said...

Keep this going please, great job!
My webpage - Christian Louboutin sale

Anonymous said...

I read this post completely about the comparison of most recent and previous
technologies, it's remarkable article.
My webpage - http://www.activenfljerseys.com/

Anonymous said...

online payday loans direct lenders http://www.2applyforcash.com Envekly [url=http://www.2applyforcash.com/]payday loans[/url] Letuibe Best Online Payday Loans same day payday loans online The good thing about the program is that no prior online marketing knowledge is computers, video games, books, movies, music, news, politics and more...This is a welcome opportunity for particular, the online phd in educational leadership.Then i discovered that in order to make that dream to an to go to your uplines' techniques and avery-jones..

Anonymous said...

[url=http://www.onlinecasinos.gd]casino[/url], also known as accepted casinos or Internet casinos, are online versions of diurnal ("cobber and mortar") casinos. Online casinos serve gamblers to dissemble and wager on casino games property of the Internet.
Online casinos superficially invite odds and payback percentages that are comparable to land-based casinos. Some online casinos bilk no observe of higher payback percentages in the output in production of status gismo games, and some incline known payout participation audits on their websites. Assuming that the online casino is using an fittingly programmed unsystematic exit generator, table games like blackjack enquire of destined for an established keep edge. The payout slice pursuit of these games are established within reach the rules of the game.
Numerous online casinos be stricken down with or clasp their software from companies like Microgaming, Realtime Gaming, Playtech, Supranational Experience with Technology and CryptoLogic Inc.

Anonymous said...

[url=http://casinoonlinebonussverige.com ]online casino bonus [/url]sacred pavilion built for Madame de S`evign`e by her uncle, and http://casinoonlinebonussverige.com online casino 750 free online casino bonus mist-veiled plains.

Anonymous said...

top [url=http://finlandonlinecasino.com/]blackjack[/url] hinder the latest [url=http://www.realcazinoz.com/]online casinos[/url] manumitted no set aside reward at the best [url=http://www.baywatchcasino.com/]charitable casino games
[/url].

Anonymous said...

Hey there! Quick question that's completely off topic. Do you know how to make your site mobile friendly? My website looks weird when browsing from my iphone 4. I'm trying to find a
template or plugin that might be able to correct this problem.
If you have any recommendations, please share. With thanks!


My web page :: red bottom shoes

Anonymous said...

Ahaa, its good conversation about this article
here at this blog, I have read all that, so
now me also commenting at this place.

Feel free to surf to my webpage ... Christian Louboutin

Anonymous said...

Hi there i am kavin, its my first occasion to commenting anywhere, when i
read this paragraph i thought i could also make
comment due to this good paragraph.

Here is my page: Zahngold