This evening

Following what appeared to be possibly the worst day of my career to date (oh yes, I predict many more cock-ups to come), I was ready to jump off the balcony. I had already melodramatically declared that it was my intention to do so tonight when asked what my plans were for the evening by the partner. "I'm going to jump off the balcony."

"Why is that?"

"Because I messed up."

He rolled his eyes and laughed, clearly loving the fact that he know had something very real, very big over me. The horror of hearing him call up the managing partner and explain this lapse in my judgment -

"Well, this kind of slipped through the cracks. I mean essentially, it was sent to June but she didn't send this out. In fairness she didn't receive instructions to do so but... Yeah. June was the recipient. June had this. June wasn't clear on what to do next." Hearing your name said that many times in the office in the context of a sheepish explanation makes you want to kill yourself.

I did however have to put my balcony plans on hold when I remembered that I had promised to meet a childhood friend of mine. She was my best friend in year 6. We were completely inseparable and then one day, out of the blue, she was gone. She had moved to another country and I was absolutely devastated. Who would be my friend in year 7? Needless to say high school was all downhill from there.

But tonight we reconnected and away from those fuzzy childhood memories, it felt like I was simply meeting a new person. A person who lives a backpacker's lifestyle, loves ashrams and japanese food, freelances and does graphic design. Essentially someone who is the opposite of me (apart from the Japanese food bit, although I do prefer a massive plate of pasta over anything else in the world).

15 years is a bloody long time. The girl is lovely but I have forgotten who I was as a kid. I did not know who to be and being myself as I am right now didn't seem like such a fabulous idea. I did not know what to do and how to behave. And frankly, I didn't know if I was particularly comfortable reminiscing about a childhood I was frankly ashamed of.

The evening was pleasant enough and ended with hugs and promises that we will stay in touch and I have no idea if that will actually happen. I suppose we'll see.

It was however a welcome distraction from intended suicide. So all in all, a success.

Goodnight.

I feel missed

Well I do. My insane ego has decided that people have missed me for about a year and so this is my comeback.

Also, I have been battling with Etisalat since June and have since found out how to steal internet. And I can't blog from work.

No matter. I'm here now. What did I do over the last year? Quite a bit. Here you go in no particular order:

1. I moved to Abu Dhabi with Adonis, my beautiful husband.
2. I got a crap job which resulted in a training contract with a top firm.
3. I obtained what many adults, and some children, may call a "career".
4. I found a house and furnished it with crap.
5. I bought a car.
6. I went to Australia again and will be going yet again.
7. I revisited London and cried.
8. I learned how to cook. And bake. And all I want to do is bake apple pie and run away from the washing up.
9. I met people who freaked the hell out of me.
10. I was supremely humbled. Nothing humbles you like working your way up in a law firm.

The year was crap. Lets be honest, there's nothing great about this law business. But ah well, I suppose it's for me.

It is for me.

And Abu Dhabi? It's nothing like Sex & the City but you already knew that. Don't visit. There's nothing here for anyone.

I have most certainly missed you though.